Oh, Ken

Oh Ken
Is it just you, then
Or is it all men -
Who promise one thing
Only to bring
Misery and pain
Again and again?

You’ve increased the bus fare
And it doesn’t end there
Regarding the tube
You’ve made a big boob
For though we can see -
For example with P-PP -
You’re under government constraints,
I’ve a number of complaints
I would like to address
And put you under duress

Now first of all
I’m not very tall
So I constantly find
People aren’t very kind:
I am trampled upon –
This goes on and on –

Oh Ken,
I hate it when -
Without asking if they may -
People shove me out the way
It’s such a farce -
If I try to pass
They hit me on the
A
R
S
E
And it causes a ruck
When I find myself stuck
Beneath someone’s arm pit –
I can’t stand it

Daily I’m met
With such poor etiquette
We’re penned in like cattle
Why’s it a battle?
I’m making a fuss
‘cos there are too many of us –
On the trains we need chairs
(And in the stations, less stairs!)

Another issue to raise
Is the constant delays
I’m very dismayed
That I’m constantly delayed
And in relation
To the poor communication –
I cannot believe
There is no reprieve

I also can’t stand
Stations being unmanned
I can’t take any more
It’s become quite a bore

The
Rat-infested
Underground
Is a bit
Like a pit
And the smell
Is just hell

You charge us too much
And it really is such
A bloody cheek
What I spend in a week
On
Tube
Fares

But what’s even worse
Than the strain on my purse
Is that it’s too bloody hot!
You leave us to rot
And get wet
And drenched in sweat
Please make it your mission
To air condition
The
Underground

Oh Ken
You and your men
You’re in City Hall
Having a ball -
And in London bars –
Where are you – on Mars?
Don’t you realise
That the demise
Of Blair’s Labour Brits
(They’ve become such gits)
Reveals a problem that lies
In the rise
Of
Champagne
Socialism?

Oh Ken, do you care?
Have I made you aware
Of my nightmare?

I voted for you
But you haven’t pulled through
I know your job is tough
But I’ve had quite enough
So do a favour to us all:
Go back to City Hall
And make a resolution
To find a solution

I can no longer wait
So just sort it out, mate!