Overheard at the B.L.

Tuesday lunchtime. I am sat on the British Library terrace listlessly eating my salad.

In front of me are two men. Man number 1 has his back to me, so I can't see him well. He appears to be 60 something. He is called Paolo. Man number 2 is wearing motorbike leathers, has a small beard, a shaved head, a pierced eyebrow, and tattoos. He is an OUT GAY man. And doesn't he want the world to know it.

Man number 1: mumble mumble.
Man number 2: is this a round about way of asking me how it's going?
1: Yes.
2: yes, I'm very pleased with it. The shoot went really well the other day.
1: Shoot?
2: You know, I'm taking photos to promote it.
1: mumble mumble.
2: It's a toy.
1: mumble doll mumble?
2: No, a sexual TOY. It's a TOY.
1: (even more quietly) mumble mumble.
2: Well, you can just explore what you want to do with it. Men and men can use it, or women and women, or men and women. Individuals OR GROUPS can use it.
1: (choking now) huh huh mumble.
2: yes, they all got really excited on the shoot. It was beautiful to see.
1: Huh? (barely making a sound).
2: It's actually very GOOD to STIMULATE the PROSTATE. All the medical research shows that gay men are LESS LIKELY to die of prostate cancer. It's because they play with their PROSTATES (practically shouting by now).
1: silence
2: Yes, of course, they are more aware of sexual health, but EVERYONE should PLAY WITH THEIR PROSTATE. My toy will help them, it's not just about fun, it's such a great invention...
1: has a drink of water
2: is that a spot on your face?

I left to go and consider the health of my prostate, even though I am female, and in no doubt whatsoever about man number 2's sexual preferences.