Overheard at the Ballet

Last night, suffering from a self-inflicted terrible sore throat, I left the library early and took myself off to see some modern dance at Sadler's Wells as a treat. It was the Rambert Dance company and they were as always awe inspiringly fantastic - athlectic, graceful, sexy, beautiful, heartbreaking, skillful beyond belief... At the end of the fiest section, the people behind me began to talk. "Well I quite enjoyed the ovewrall effect" said posh man number one. "Euh really?" trilled posh man number two. "I'm leaving, it was god awful." This left posh man number one to invite some young American girls who had been in cheaper seats to come and join him, I presume, because post interval, they were sat behind me. Posh man number one. "Oh yes, I totally love the Holy Land. I quite quite miss not going". Girls giggle. "Oh, I'm a Christian you see, so it's very important to me." The girls say something else. "Oh, you MUST call it the Holy Land. That's what it is to me. I'm a Christian." Girls murmer and giggle. "I say my David's psalm three times a day, you see I'm Christian, and I pray before I sleep...I'm sure I do more than you.." Girls say something. "Oh I adore Jerusalem, shame about the Frummers, but I'm sure you shouldn't call them that" (at this point thank GOD the curtain was raised and he stopped).
The two girls proceeded to comment on the dance all the way through, trying to 'interpret it', giggling, sighing, asking when it would be over. He joined in every now and again. I turned round at one point and hissed "would you please be quiet" in my best teacher tone. This worked for ooh 3 minutes and they were off again.
To my delight, as the curtain went down, and the lights came up for the second interval, a v trendy looking man near me turned to them. "It's very distracting of you when you insist on talking all the way through".

The girls at least had the decency to look a bit shame faced, and mumbled sorry. The man protested that they hadn't been talking all the way through!

I turned and said "Yes you were, and it was extremely rude, especially after I asked you to stop. Just because you don't like it, doens't mean we don't."

The man chuntered "We weren't talking all the way through, how dare you blah blah"

"Yes you were, mate" said trendy man.

"Why don't you just go and stop ruining it for us?" asked his girlfriend.

The Christian and the Americans left, and didn't come back. What a shame one of the commandments isn't thou shalt not be a complete arse at the theatre!