Well, it’s been a traumatic, obsessive, angst-ridden, man-problematic few days, but I have bounced back, and taken on board the conflicting advice from all my lovely friends.
Here is what I have learned:
- (Cliché, but:) Men are all the same
- When it comes to men and relationships:
I either
(a) disproportionately over-inflate a situation in my mind, so that I idealise the man in question and have to have him now, with all clear judgment and objectiveness severely impaired OR
(b) My self-defence mechanism kicks in as soon as I am rejected or a complication arises, and I have an amazing ability to switch off and detach - I want what I can’t have. As soon as I have it, I don’t want it any more. I will never be satisfied
- I need to be in control, but I need the challenge of fighting for that control
- Relationships are complex and complicated
- Most people – even lawyers, would you believe?! – and especially men in the context of relationships – are non-confrontational, and will always take the easy option
- One key skill (which I have picked up from the male-dominated work place) I have is separating issues from each other. It means that ultimately, I can see a situation clearly, eventually apply perspective and walk away (relatively) unscathed
- On the whole, I am comfortable with myself (despite my numerous hang-ups)
- My body is completely fucked up from marathon running and over-training, and I have weight-trained my lower body to excess in the last year. I need to build up my glutes, slim down my thighs and increase my daily amount of aerobic cardiovascular activity (this last point, obviously, I have not learned as a direct result of my dating experiences in the last week!)
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