Oh, the mundane, vacuous things that make me happy. Here they are:
- I have completed no fewer than 6 rounds of aptitude tests in the last 3 weeks, and all scores are apparently “impressive” and “way above average” (although perhaps not such an accomplishment when one considers that most of the population can’t write a sentence without incurring at least one spelling error). My brain has not completely turned to jelly. Although I have still not been offered any of the jobs I actually want
I have completed about a million (ish) personality tests, (including several from S’s husband, who is training as an occupational psychologist). Apparently, I am very extroverted and outgoing, extremely driven, and an anomaly in that everything motivates me. All my responses represent an extreme on the scale. Oh, and no further comparisons drawn between me and Maggie Thatcher. Which is the bit that makes me happy
Kate Moss has launched her eagerly-awaited collection at Topshop, maxi-dresses, gladiator sandals, embellishments, the new boho and slogan tees are all the rage, and I have NOT SET FOOT in Topshop since March, nor have I bought a SINGLE item of clothing in the last 3 months. I am a model of self-restraint, strength and determination (erm, or just very skint)
I have indulged in 2 consecutive weekends of excess, gluttony and alcohol abuse, and still somehow managed to lose 2 kilos. I have replaced my navel jewellery in celebration. My thighs have calmed down, and I am pleased to report that I am back in the size 6 petite hotpants. I shall be shaking my booty in them this evening
Just as I have sworn off men, there has been a sudden wave of interest in me. These include several messages from the people on the dating website (which I have not even read, as internet dating is too much hard work, plus I have no desire to become a Stepford wife), a male friend of over 20 years who has suddenly declared his undying love for me (I am shocked and distressed), and a kind offer from a former client (business, not anything dodgy, thank you very much), to become his mistress. Despite the material perks, I am even more distressed by this offer, and have obviously declined, as well as reported him to the relevant industry body
Oh, and I start a new work project tomorrow. It’s just a one-off project, so I can take my time finding the “right” career path, without feeling as though I’m completely selling out, and with enough money coming in to vaguely function in the meantime
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