I am incensed and outraged to read a report in tonight’s news about this case, currently being heard at Inner London Crown Court. It involves 2 teenage girls, alleged to have been gang-raped in a park by 3 13-year-old boys. The – female – lawyer acting for one of the defendants has apparently suggested that one of the girls not only consented to the attack, but, being overweight, would have been “glad of the attention” (I am paraphrasing from the article).
This claim is a travesty, and makes me LIVID. First of all, there is a fundamental distinction between sex and rape. The latter is NOT sex, it is violence. I shan’t elaborate further on this point, which has been debated extensively elsewhere. What I would like to pick up on is the idea that – being overweight – the girl was necessarily unattractive, insecure, deprived of sexual attention and therefore hungry for any kind of “affection”, even a violent rape (oh how can anyone equate rape with affection??).
I speak as a woman, a feminist, a sexual being and a former fat person. I have known what it is like to be a UK Size 20 and an American Size 0. The suggestion that an overweight woman is obviously unattractive and insecure is outrageous. Yes, I have chosen to transform myself into a UK Size 6, for many reasons, all of which are personal to me. I am a driven person who thrives on challenge and pushes herself to her limits. I like wearing hotpants, bikinis and skinny jeans. I am competitive and like being thinner than other women. I am a shameless fashion victim, and if Size 0 is in, well then that’s what I want to look like. But you know what? I loved and hated my body when I was fat, and I love and hate my body now, too. When I weighed 12 stone (the apparent weight of the victim at the time of the attack), I honestly felt sexy. I had cleavage and curves and lovers who loved my body.
Yes, if I am honest, there were definitely many, many occasions when I had ill-judged liaisons with men because I felt fat and ugly and flattered by any sexual attention. But this had as much to do with being young, awkward, having attended a single-sex school, and being sexually immature. A woman’s body image does not necessarily result from her actual body size or shape; it is a complex issue relating to many facets of her self. Even now, aged 30 and half the size I have been for most of my life, I have to closely question my attraction to any new man I meet; inside, I am still a fat person who is flattered by male attention. But make no mistake: there is consensual sex and then there is rape. To suggest that a woman who feels unattractive (if this was even the case) would actively court such a sick, violent violation of her body is really quite disgusting. I feel shocked and sad that such an assertion should be made by a female barrister. It is untrue, unsisterly, and seriously misguided.
This claim is a travesty, and makes me LIVID. First of all, there is a fundamental distinction between sex and rape. The latter is NOT sex, it is violence. I shan’t elaborate further on this point, which has been debated extensively elsewhere. What I would like to pick up on is the idea that – being overweight – the girl was necessarily unattractive, insecure, deprived of sexual attention and therefore hungry for any kind of “affection”, even a violent rape (oh how can anyone equate rape with affection??).
I speak as a woman, a feminist, a sexual being and a former fat person. I have known what it is like to be a UK Size 20 and an American Size 0. The suggestion that an overweight woman is obviously unattractive and insecure is outrageous. Yes, I have chosen to transform myself into a UK Size 6, for many reasons, all of which are personal to me. I am a driven person who thrives on challenge and pushes herself to her limits. I like wearing hotpants, bikinis and skinny jeans. I am competitive and like being thinner than other women. I am a shameless fashion victim, and if Size 0 is in, well then that’s what I want to look like. But you know what? I loved and hated my body when I was fat, and I love and hate my body now, too. When I weighed 12 stone (the apparent weight of the victim at the time of the attack), I honestly felt sexy. I had cleavage and curves and lovers who loved my body.
Yes, if I am honest, there were definitely many, many occasions when I had ill-judged liaisons with men because I felt fat and ugly and flattered by any sexual attention. But this had as much to do with being young, awkward, having attended a single-sex school, and being sexually immature. A woman’s body image does not necessarily result from her actual body size or shape; it is a complex issue relating to many facets of her self. Even now, aged 30 and half the size I have been for most of my life, I have to closely question my attraction to any new man I meet; inside, I am still a fat person who is flattered by male attention. But make no mistake: there is consensual sex and then there is rape. To suggest that a woman who feels unattractive (if this was even the case) would actively court such a sick, violent violation of her body is really quite disgusting. I feel shocked and sad that such an assertion should be made by a female barrister. It is untrue, unsisterly, and seriously misguided.
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