Girl with GSOH seeks solvent male

No, D, I don't think you are being shallow at all. I am struggling with the same dilemma at present. Older man spoke to me at length on the phone on Monday evening. He finally admitted he is "stony broke" with a huge bank loan to pay back. He spoke some more about it last night in the Crown, even offering me facts and figures. I have no desire to know just how deeply indebted he is, nor do I want to have anything to do with the issue. It's his problem. And yet...as soon as you become even slightly involved, it weirdly mutates into your problem too. The following things have happened

1) He told me when he last admitted to a woman how in debt he was, she backed off big time and told him "Love doesn't put bread on the table." He said he was profoundly hurt by this, and thought it v shallow. I thought, God, she is far more sensible than self.

2) He told me he would love to be able to sweep me off my feet and feels upset he doesn't have the money to do this. Contradictorily I think do you think that being able to flash the cash is what would make me change from my current attitude of bemusement and advice to take things more slowly (i.e. I am not having your baby) and prioritising my desire for a career "elsewhere" over a two week-old "relationship"? (Shallowly it might be!)

3) He has no cash already, even though pay day is not for another week. This means I have already started subsidising us. So far, I have bought: two packs of condoms (£6); taxi home (£4);bottle of wine (£6); chinese takeout for two (£12.60). He has however promised to take me to Belfast Zoo as a treat when he has been paid. I'm so pleased he loves zoos too! But does this make up for being on the verge of bankruptcy??!!

Would I say he was a "Loser"? No, I wouldn't say that (or at least not because of his dire financial straits and rather mundane job). As my friend Marty pointed out in the pub on Tuesday night (most randomly he started on the whole topic of money with no prompting from self, who didn't even mention its current focus in my life), you are just as much of a loser if you do a job you hate for 80 hours a week, however much money you earn. But we do all have to live in the current world, and life is expensive. If you want to have a life, you need money to do it.