- Registration for the London Marathon takes place at the ExCel Centre, which is in the middle of bloody nowhere. Registration doesn't start until 11am, so everyone with a job has to take half a day off work to register. This did not seem to be an issue for the scores of OAPs present when I went to register. Clearly seeing said OAPs has done nothing for my waning confidence in my ability to (a) finish the race and (b) finish the race in one piece - I am now tormenting myself with thoughts of being overtaken in the race by the entire elderly population of Britain. Oh god.
- The freebies are crap. When I registered for the NY Marathon, I got at least 2 t shirts (which admittedly I promptly lost and would never have worn anyway. I hate it when people wear old marathon t shirts), some cool posters, some energy bars and gels, some Tylenol (which I was forced to take at Mile 2, when I tripped on a bottle and twisted my ankle) and some blank banners and hooters (which obviously I had no use for, as I was on my ownsome, and there were no loved ones present to see my charge through the finish line, a triumphant, sweaty mess).
- Orange flavoured Lucozade - yuck. And they only give it to you every 5 miles. At the NY Marathon, they give you Gatorade every 2 miles.
- The London Marathon starts in South London. I will have to get up at the crack of dawn to get there, and I don't think the tubes run until 7am on Sunday morning, so I don't even know if I will get there on time. And North London is much prettier to run through.
- The London Marathon is notorious for its proliferation of fun runners - those bloody annoying people who dress up in silly costumes or do ridiculous things, eg that man who ran it backwards. I will never forget that humiliating moment during the NY Marathon, when I was overtaken by a giant armadillo. I almost gave up there and then.
- Lack of transportation to the start line. I know I keep going on about the NY Marathon (one of best life experiences so far, and a city I adore), but they provide coaches to take runners to the start line. In London, the tubes don't even run until 7am, so how can I get to a mainline station on time to get a train to Greenwich? What is wrong with Ken Bloody Livingstone (Mayor of London)? Clearly spending too much time being a champagne socialist in the bar of the 4 Seasons Hotel in Canary Wharf (where I have spotted him before), and not enough time sorting out London Underground.
- Training for a marathon in London is such a miserable experience. Apart from the constant rain, runners are so unsupportive of each other. Whenever I am in NY, I always run in Central Park, and other runners are so friendly, and they talk to you and give you good tips. At one point, I was running a 15 mile route through London to work, 3 times a week for about 4 months. During that time, I passed the same people along the route, and not one of them even so much as grunted at me in acknowledgement of my existence. Having said that, though, it is this same blunt indifference towards strangers that is so characteristic of Londoners that caused me great amusement at the London Marathon exhibition the other day. There was a woman there representing the LA and Las Vegas Marathons, handing out flyers and making fake, sycophantic comments to everyone (eg "Have a great day!!"; "Check out the Vegas Marathon, it's so great!!!"). It really made me giggle - that poor woman was making such an effort, and it will be so unappreciated by the Brits, who have a completely different approach to customer services.
Most annoyingly though, I am not ready for it. And I am going to be wearing v. unflattering 3/4 length leggings, which are great for running in, but look vile. I dearly hope I am not captured on TV. Or - even worse - overtaken by Jade Goody.
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